Not sleeping is bad
Last night, after I posted, I went to bed. But I didn't fall asleep until 2, and then woke up at 3:30, wide awake. I went back to bed at 5, and got up at 7:30, but not one wink of sleep. I'm going to keep this short tonight, because I'm wiped!
That being said, I woke up feeling pretty icky. Saturday morning was taking its revenge on my body - I will NEVER do that again. I've felt terrible all day long. I only started feeling a little better about an hour ago.
I had my first 'appointment' with the Emily Program today, but it turns out I was just filling out paper work and I took a computer survey. I go back on June 3rd for my real evaluation. I'm a little nervous about this, because I want to get a good start on recovery before I leave for Ireland. Two weeks is two weeks I could be getting better with a real program, not just on my own.
I got new running shoes on the way home from the Emily Program - Asics Gt-2140s. I love them - super supportive and comfy. I haven't actually run in them yet, but I was moving - both just keeping active and moving to the new dorm room - all afternoon.
Which leads me to my next ... story? I'm in my new room! I need to up pack - everything is stuffed in suitcases and random bags. I think its going to be a multi-day process. Sigh. I would post a pic, but all of my decorations are in storage - I just have the necessities for now. :/
I'd like to end by thanking everyone who has given me so much support and love in the various comments I've received. It means so much to me, and every comment I read helps me push through the difficulties, and focus on the positive. Thank you all so very, very much, from the bottom of my heart.
Love,
Emma
6 comments:
OY I don't think I realized you had such a terrible saturday! Those b/p followed by semi-binge sessions are the worsttttt possible combination, and the nasty feeling definitely lingers for a few days! It always affects my sleep pattern too, so I feel your pain! I hope that you're tuckered out enough tonight to get some rest! You have a lot to catch up on! How frustrating that you have to wait till June 3rd to REALLY start the program, I agree that 2 weeks could really help! But of course your recovery will ultimately depend on what YOU do with the treatment, and if you maintain a positive attitude towards recovery and keep fighting this ED on your own, you'll be SO much more prepared to accept the professional help and it'll speed up the process so much!
<3
ascis shoes are the best :)!
Im sorry your still feeling horrible about the ed behaviors..but try to focus on the present and future..something you can change :)
xxx
You definitely need some recovery time. Take a breather today!
I say do something nice for yourself today! You deserve it (:
Ugh. I suffer from REALLY bad insomnia...I know how it is. Not pleasant.
Have a good day hun!
It stinks that you have to wait for your next appointment, but I think you should dedicate to making as much progress as possible in that time. The more 'heart and soul' you are in recovery on your own, the easier it is to work with the professionals.
I hope you got better sleep last night!
I'm sorry that you had such a rough weekend!! the loss of control feeling that lead to the binges are the worst! But the silver lining is that you know how horrible you feel afterwards and like you said, you never want to do that again! It is so hard on your body and you deserve to treat yourself in the best possible way you can!
How crappy that there's a delay in your program. Hopefully those couple of weeks passes quickly so that you can get started! Wishing you the very very best!
THank you for the idea about the squash! i've never tried that stuff!
Hope you are able to get some rest today and the rest of your week looks up!
xoxo
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